Finding Meaning Where There Is No Meaning

 

Putting our existence into perspective

On August 4th, 1792, Geoff Biggerstaff thought he heard something in the middle of the night. He lit a candle to go investigate, but upon not finding anything he returned to bed and put out the candle. You never learned about this in school for two reasons. First, I just made it up. But second, even if I hadn’t, that flame’s existence of a couple of minutes was too ephemeral to be of note. It was created, combined the elements of oxygen, wax, and heat to form the chain reaction of flame, and was extinguished without making much lasting impact on the world. The heat it created dispersed and the light it gave ceased to exist.

The Paradox

Such is the way with all living things. Matter is brought together in such a way to create life, producing heat and energy for a while, until being put out. This brings me to a fundamental paradox of our existence. From a cosmic perspective a human life is insignificant. In fact, all of human existence would have to be viewed in much the same way. If we anthropomorphize time, when Time looks at humans, they see a creature that is born and almost immediately dies. Whether they live a day or hundred years barely registers. Either way their entire life is a fraction of the blink of an eye on the scale of all of time. 

Yet from the perspective of an individual human, we are eternal. I mean we intellectually know we’re not, but it kind of seems like we are. I’ve been alive for as long as I can remember. I have no recollection of being born, I've just always been here.  Being both a person with a history degree and being in my mid-fifties I've come to appreciate there are two types of history. There’s history like Bruce Jenner winning the decathlon in the 1976 Olympics, and Ronald Reagan being shot by John Hinkley Jr. in 1980. Those things definitely happened. I watched them on TV. They’re as real as what I had for breakfast.

Then there's the other type of history, the stuff I don't remember. Julius Caesar defeating Pompey for control of Rome, Ferdinand Magellan sailing around the globe, and those pesky rebels giving the British a good what-for at Bunker Hill. I “believe” those things happened, but I don’t know it the same way that I know Joe Biden is president. I don’t recall any of those events occurring, I’ve just been told about them. It gives them a certain unrealness.

The Future

The future is similar. Again, we all know intellectually that we will die. We know death exists, and if you’re a person of any age, you’ve probably known someone who has died. But it’s hard to conceptualize. I’ve been wandering around the planet for going on fifty-four years and haven’t died even once. From my perspective I’ve always existed, and I’ve never died. The future, the supposedly inevitable future after our death, we typically think of ourselves as having a ring side seat for it. Watching our children, and their children and so on living their lives from some other worldly vantage point. I mean how do you envision a future without being a part of it in some way. What does it mean to not exist? None of us have any experience at this sort of thing.

Religion

This of course is the awesome pull of religion. If you believe in this thing or that. If you do this magical ritual, you don’t have to stop just because your decrepit old body conked out. You can go to a different place. You can transition to a new plain of existence. Well gosh darn, that sounds pretty good. Definitely better than the alternative of glitching out of existence. Sign me up for some of that.

Unfortunately, wanting something to be true, and it actually being true are two entirely different things. When I was eleven, I believed George Brett would become the first major league baseball player to achieve a 400 batting average in forty years. Yet, despite my belief to the contrary, he ended up batting 390. And just like my belief in George Brett didn’t affect his batting average, believing in an afterlife doesn’t make it so. I suspect most people of faith fear this deep down. That one day the matrix will reset without them.

Conclusion

So, what does this mean? It doesn’t matter if you take a dive off the Empire State building or win the Nobel Peace Prize, it ends the same either way? Yeah, kind of. But on the other hand, appreciating the fragility of life gives it its own significance. Of all eternity, this is the one fraction of a blink of an eye that you are actually here and alive. You have infinite time to not exist, but only a very finite time to exist. Whatever circumstances you find yourself in, take wonder in the fact that your candle is lit and you are lighting up the room.